Article 1778 of eunet.jokes: Path: santra!tut!draken!kth!enea!mcvax!ukc!warwick!geoff From: geoff@warwick.UUCP (Geoff Rimmer) Newsgroups: eunet.jokes Subject: Typical eunet.jokes articles Summary: eunet.jokes never changes!!! Message-ID: <968@ubu.warwick.UUCP> Date: 30 Jan 89 05:14:53 GMT Sender: news@warwick.UUCP Reply-To: geoff@emerald.UUCP (Geoff Rimmer) Distribution: eunet Organization: Computer Science, Warwick University, UK Lines: 206 WHY IS EUNET.JOKES ALWAYS THE SAME??!?!? Every time I read it, it contains exactly the following articles. When I have read them, some new articles appear - which are identical in every way to the original set. ------------------------------------------------------------ Geoff Rimmer, Computer Science, Warwick University, England. geoff@uk.ac.warwick.emerald ------------------------------------------------------------ Here are the articles..... Article 10001 Subject: :-) ("smileys") Hello eunet.jokers My name's Kevin, and I've just discovered a new way to show people which sentences are humourous. (although not very many in this newsgroup are! hee hee hee). If you put the 3 characters 'colon' 'hyphen' 'close parenthesis' :-) it looks like a smiley face. (hee hee hee isn't it clever). I propose to call it a "smiley". Does anyone have any other similar "smiley"s that could be used in the future? Kevin "Smiley" Krump Newcastle Polytechnic, England. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10002 Subject: Re: :-) ("smileys") (hee hee hee) In article 10001 Kevin Krump wrote... > I propose to call it a "smiley". Does anyone have any other similar > "smiley"s that could be used in the future? What a fantastic idea. I have been thinking of ways to show which of my sentences convey humour, and I think your new "smiley" convention should do the trick :-) (hee hee hee) Since reading your article, 5 minutes ago, I have produced a comprehensive list of alternative smileys, which through their individual and unique graphics, show a multitude of different meanings to the reader. Here they are : :-) The previous sentence is humourous. :-) The previous sentence is ironic. :-) The previous sentence is horrific. :-) The previous sentence is boring. :-) The previous sentence is sarcastic. :-) The previous sentence is another smiley. Hope you like them :-) --- Kevin "Kevin" Kevin Hammersmith Odeon. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10003 Subject: Joke Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Alain DeCrapeau ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10004 Subject: Re: Joke In article 10003 Alain DeCrapeau wrote... :-) Why did the chicken cross the road? :-) To get to the other side. I suppose you think it's funny to make fun of chickens when there are 2 million people unemployed in Britain today. Well, let me tell you something, it makes me sad that people like yourself who obviously don't care about ANYONE or ANYTHING, can spend your time trying to make us laugh when err, there are, err, women's rights, Thatcher's Britain, err, people being forced to work down coal mines, err... and a sickening 2 million people unemployed in Britain. What have you done to help unemployment in the past week? Nothing. You have selfishly taken it upon yourself to ignore the terrible plight of the unemployed and instead to write feeble jokes to a continent that don't want to read them and, errr, that's it. Ms Sheila Leftie from Brent, London. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10005 Subject: Why is eunet.jokes always in English? Summary: Something should be done about it. Why is eunet.jokes always in English? Something should be done about it. Jacques Francais, Paris. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10006 Subject: Re: Why is eunet.jokes always in English? Jacques, you raised some interesting points in your article. Marcel Guibbard, Paris. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10007 Subject: Re: Why is eunet.jokes always in English? It's about time something was done about this problem. And just to show the English how much I hate them and their horrible language, I am going to be radical and tell the next joke in FRENCH!!! Pourquoi la poule a-t-elle traversee la rue? Pour arriver a l'autre cote. Ha! That showed the English. Kevine ("I'm French and proud of it"), Paris, France ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10008 Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Why is eunet.jokes always in English? Kevine, please please please give us English-speaking people a translation of your joke. I lie awake at night with a French dictonary trying to understand your humourous piece of writing, but I cannot figure out the meaning. Obligatory joke: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "Because it was tied to the back of the train at the level crossing" James Pontington-Smythe from East Anglia, England. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 10009 Subject: ****** ALTERNATIVE COMEDY ****** Why did the chicken cross the road? Fuck off you red nosed bastard. P.S. Can someone tell me how to ROT13 my jokes? -- Steve the alternative comedian Mailing address: steve@blurfl.uk.ac.blurfl or steve@blurfl.uk.ac.blurfl ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Articles 10010, 10012, 10014-10358, 10472, 10856 Subject: ROT 13 (was Re: Alternative Comedy) Here is how I ROT 13 my articles: main() { ... } ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 20001 Subject: Complete archive of all dead baby jokes [ I've ROT 13'd it twice just to make sure :-) ] What do you call a baby that's dead? A dead baby Steve Boring, Brunel University, England. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article 20002 Subject: Icelandic joke Here is a joke from iceland. jiodf j g fjkldg jkdlf gjk jkgl jdfkgl djkgl jdfkgl jgkldfd lgjkdlg jdkflg jdklg jakfl. g jfdklg jfdkgla jkrlug jyreklg jyrkelj reilf jirlfj io;lj woelj fweol fiw hfilhfgijf iwej fiwoj fiow jfiore jgfyyj ior jgiorejgio jrogsj fg o[dsj sig shj shigjhifsdg jifd jgifds[poa gji jgifdjgiodrl jssg 'oaiq rjthirejtgtotslj gljg oslj gogj s'o g j orgj o s'jg o sj gosj goj ryoj reog; j/keog js'og jeoai. jogsj 'org joegj o;eg js'og kore;g kj 'o jg'o. And I bet you thought us Icelanders didn't have a sense of humour. Mr Eye Sland, Iceland University, Iceland. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's all folks!